tears
I thought it was hard leaving. What I didn’t realise then, is that it’s easier to leave somewhere when you can turn around and run back and get those last hugs in, and the last waves, and know that there’s someone feeling the same on the other side. The worst part is being so far away, with no one to turn around and run back to, and thinking of how much you truly miss those people.
While I was in Scotland…
I…
Lived in AKD and watched the APPRENTICE,
Had BANTEROUS times while taking BUMMING photos,
Became mates with CUNTY CHOPS,
Went to DUSK Monday’s after discussing DRIPPING on DUM-YAT,
Put the wrong EM-PHA-SIS on the wrong syl-lab-le,
Did FUCK-ALL on Thursdays, and then went to FUBES,
Tried to keep up my GRADES,
Saw a HAIRY COO and many people HØMPING AWAY,
Tried IRN BRU and experienced INTERKITCHING,
Made JOKES with JUICY,
Lived with KITCH 5 and constantly lost my KEYS,
Skipped LECTURES while singing about LOCH LOOOMOND,
Found out Ian is a MUNTER, while looking for MORALS, and going M.I.A.,
Was taught the difference between pasta and NOODLES by NORWAY,
Heard many a “…ONCE” story,
Watched Britterz PULL a PHENOMINAL amount of randoms,
Thought everything was QUALITY,
RAGED when the boys thieved my mattress,
Went to STUDIO for 1/2 priced pitchers and to laugh at SLAGS,
Ordered TASTEBUDZ while TAKING THE PISS out of Claire,
Refused to wear UNDERWEAR,
Drank VERMOUTH while watching Joj get hit in the VULVA,
Consumed too much WINE while calling people WANKERS,
Joked about taking X with Brittany, and learned what XXX stands for,
Got YELLED at for “breaking a window”, and watched Taylor Swift on YOUTUBE,
and Bought trainers with ZEBRA stripes.
Life as I know it.
I’m Feelin rough I’m Feelin raw I’m in the prime of my life.
Let’s make some music make some money find some models for wives.
I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.
This is our decision to live fast and die young.
We’ve got the vision, now let’s have some fun.
Yeah it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do?
Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?
Forget about our mothers and our friends.
We were fated to pretend.
I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms.
I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world.
I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home.
Yeah I’ll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.
But there is really nothing, nothing we can do.
Love must be forgotten. Life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we’ll get a divorce,
we’ll find some more models, Everything must run its course.
We’ll choke on our vomit and that will be the end.
We were fated to pretend.
19 Days
I never thought not going back to school could be so morbidly depressing. I didn’t think leaving my 5 bests would be so hard, even though I’ll see them soon, some this weekend, most next weekend. I’m getting nervous. I’m scared. How am I gonna survive without the people who have always been my sanity?
What am I supposed to tell people about you? “So I kinda have a boyfriend…” I’m sure that won’t go over well, and also creates the potential for extremely awkwardly long conversations involving a lot of explaining. I don’t want to explain. I don’t want to have to be explain that we’re not actually together. that’s what hurts the most.
Mom keeps telling me I don’t have to go, but I feel like I’m too far gone.
4 months is a long time.
What am I gonna do?
week, in retrospect
It started out slow, but then the snowball of bad things kept rolling down the mountain, picking up speed and size. I’m getting ready to drop kick a bitch. A new day dawned on the 4ht, figuratively as well as literally. [But I'm super glad about that] It’s been a rainy, muggy, wet, annoying weather week. I have yet to see the boy, as well as Ar. Some weekend.
I rushed a portfolio, skipped bio, and drove a car the the carwash, because it was oatmeal-ed and toothpaste-d. I sang a song, and dominated at beer pong (4 games straight). I danced in the moonlight, went to Knight Madness, and attempted to make the $500 shot (at which I failed… miserably). I haven’t talked to my best friend. I miss her more then anything. I watched my dog die, slowly in her sleep, the most painful thing for my Uncle and Timothy. Some week.
